Astrology gives me anxiety!
The heading is misleading.
I am obsessed with astrology, and that may have something to do with my high Scorpio Stellium, and for all those astrology lovers out there I know that this Scorpio obsessiveness is usually reserved for relationships, well my relationship with astrology is real. We connect every day sometimes a few times a day actually, some days every hour. I am not talking about the wishy-washy horoscopes you get in your local paper which tell you what colour you should wear today. I am talking subscriptions to astrologists( Jessica Admas, check her out she is pretty amazing), analysing my Birth Chart, seeing where the planets are daily to see if my planets are in conjunction, sextile-ing, Squaring, Trine-ing, Quincunxing, in opposition, in a Grand Trine or a TSquare. I mean look at those names. Anxiety straight up!
But like a bad relationship, I keep going back for more.
Recently I realised that my obsession/love for this crazily accurate way of identifying yourself was getting a little out of control.
I recently met someone, and quite early on I asked to do their chart. Well, that was a HUGE mistake. If I was to believe everything I was reading about this person who I had just met and knew nothing about, I should have pressed block and ran. Fast. The chart was describing the biggest Hednositic Playboy after Hugh Hefner. After reading this wonderfully detailed description, I spoke to a good friend, and I mentioned that I had "read" this person chart and was thinking of pulling the pin before I even knew their last name. Her brutally honest comment brought me back to earth.
Earth. That big ball of rock we are floating on which spins terribly fast around a ball of fire and people still think that there is nothing terribly special about the universe. Sorry off topic, but have you ever stopped and thought about exactly what's going on. We live on a floating rock. And people think believing in astrology is crazy.
Anyway, my good friend politely said, " If someone told me that they couldn't see me because of my astrological chart, then I would think they were a little crazy."
Granted I am a little crazy, and I do believe in astrology 100%, but I had to realise that everyone has a blueprint, but it is how they evolve that matters.
Maybe down the track I may look back and kick myself and think, shit should have listened to that chart or perhaps I won't. Maybe this will be everything I have been searching for. As much as I love astrology, I love partnerships, the Libra in me; I love Adventure, the Sagittarius side of me and well I love passion, the Scorpio part of me. I am a trilogy of Libra, Sagittarius and Scorpio.
Fast forward a few weeks, and even though that chart is still in the back of my mind, we are going on a holiday. That Astrological Hendositic chart guy and I. And to add to that anxiety, presently Mercury is Retrograding in the sign of Sagittarius in the Ninth house.
Trying to decipher that sentence is enough to cause stress. So if that means nothing to you here is a brief rundown. Mercury, the planet of communication, appears to be spinning backwards in our great mystical outer space, and this effects all forms of communication, travel on a global scale. Mercury is presently in the sign of Sagittarius, the sign of travellers and adventurers. ( I have a high Stellium Sagittarius, and I am planning to visit my 40th country in 2019, so I feel highly Sagittarius even though my sun signs Libra). Typing all this makes me laugh but if you want to learn a little more about yourself, I say leap into the world of astrology you may freak yourself out.
Back on track; Sagitarious lives in the 9th house on the Astrology pie chart which is the house of Travel.
So why the anxiety? Well despite going to meet this Astrological Chart challenged individual, since I have a high stellium in Sagittarius, this Retrograde will affect me more so than others and what am I doing in this retrograde. Going on a holiday.
I have triple checked everything, again obsessively but nothing can control the things you can't control. Apparently. Basically expect the worst if your travelling in this time and have plan A, B and C ready. All this according to Astrology.
So with all this stress and need for concern, I begin to question Astrology and its purpose in my life. If this is causing me so much worry why am I still obsessed? Well, the answers are in the stars. Literally. That's why I love astrology and all that it can teach us about who we are and why we are, who we are.
Despite this, I am going on my holiday to meet my Astrologically mismatched mate despite what Astrology may be trying to warn me of. We all know that threes a crowd in any relationship so maybe astrology has to step away from this one and let me live my life the way I want and not what the stars are saying; even though I will be secretly leaning on it to help guide my way on this journey.
Although I have learnt a lot about myself and my life through Astrology, the most significant lesson I have learnt is that it is just a guide and we ultimately choose our journey.
Even though the journey I am choosing may not look good on paper with Mr Henonestic and Mercury Retrograding, I decide to have faith.
Like any true Libra, I can sit here and weigh up the pro and cons until I miss the opportunity or I can embrace the Sagitarrius in me and see nothing but a beautiful adventure opening up before my eyes, that will be full of passion keeping the Scorpio inside me alive.